Your Kickstarter Sucks

A set of wooden Apple keyboard replacement keys for those of us who have a soft spot for the classic “chrome and wood” aesthetic. 

Engrain also allows you to say goodbye to the molded plastics of traditional keyboards and spend your days touching an organic surface that is as natural and unique as the wood it was cut from.

Ahh, the natural and organic practice of typing on wooden keys, just like our forefathers did before those fucking technocrats replaced everything with plastic in the 60s. It just feels so much, like, warmer, you know? That’s probably why everyone likes all those books from the 1800s so much.

$95 to $115 depending on which keyboard you have. Of course this shit is fully funded

A rather large insect-looking “Inviso-Bug” flying off of my deck. These are invisible to the naked eye, only show up under infra-red. I have hours of exclusive video of SWARMS of things around me and am unable to see them or hear them at all!

This guy tried to get people to pay $5000 for footage of imaginary ghost bugs(sometimes called “Orbs” or “Fairies”) he saw flying around his porch on a night vision security camera.

This guy has four other failed Kickstarters, all with $0 pledged: one for his “invention” of a security camera that uploads its footage to an online server and three trying to get money to have his sloppy and horribly mixed but strangely compelling Black Sabbath covers professionally mastered. I sort of want to hang out with this guy and pretend to see invisible orbs on security cameras while we blast some sickass heavy metal riffage

thanks dendy crew

Hey gang, making things is expensive. We all want to do stuff, but no one has the money! That’s where you guys come in. Please pay for us to make this book. The book will be about the internet, I guess. Maybe not. The thing is, we discovered roulette and craps and as a result, we’re in a pretty bad spot with some guys who loaned us some money. So check out our kickstarter or whatever! Thanks and please give as much as you can!

YKS: The Book!

I came up with this ideal when i spent like 10 hours searching and requesting lyrics to no response so this solves the millions of peoples problems going threw the same thing i went threw.



Rap Mixtape Lyrics (Official Poster)

Traditional college students go to Cancun or Panama City for their summers, but next summer I want to do something entirely different. 

That something is to drive across the United States in a Porsche 911, with my girlfriend, and hit all of the major sights as well as many others. Drive the Appalachian Mountains, cruise through the Midwest, climb the Rockies, hike through Yellowstone, and drive along the cliffs in California, and back again. Along the way I plan to document the whole trip via journal, camera, and film and eventually share the end results with all of you.

Okay. I’m in. But I have one question. Where will my donations end up? Could you break it down roughly to where the money will go? 

You may be wondering where your donations will end up so I have broken it down roughly to where the money will go:

$15,000 - will go towards the purchase and maintenance of a 911

$2,000 - will go towards gasoline and insurance

$3,000 - will go towards living expenses (lodging, food, etc.) and other fees

$2,250 - will go towards the production of the documentary and Kickstarter fees

911: Cross Country Road Trip

via: FlannelSpacemen

Long cat 3D. A game built for the meme community… inspired by teh internetz.

Long Cat 3D

Dude straight up photoshopped a mag-lite onto an old ass iPhone..

Projecktor

Hey, congrats on inventing the bowl. 

The Cookie Dunker

I read a few articles and comments about the RPG camp thing and someone mentioned this bit of information.

Apparently in August 2012 Susan Wilson, the creator of the controversial RPG camp Kickstarter, attempted to run a scam through Indiegogo where she misrepresented popular mass-produced iPhone cases sold through Amazon, Walmart and other retailers as a new product called “Life-Case”, using phrases like “our first limited production run” and “we’re focusing on creating the best iPhone case EVER”. She apparently convinced well-meaning people that she designed the case herself and hoped she would be able to make $10,000 without a single person noticing the cases were just shit from the Walmart electronics department???

On Indiegogo:

The Incipio Stowaway on Amazon:

The cases are priced at $40 on Indiegogo, $35 at list price on the company’s website and only $16.78 on Amazon, so I guess the plan here was to trick people into thinking they were supporting an up-and-coming innovator and then ship them another company’s product for double the price and quadruple the shipping time. At $16.78 per case with free shipping plus maybe $3 to ship them back out in padded envelopes, that’s over $5000 in profit if the campaign actually got funded, all for submitting orders on Amazon and putting envelopes in a UPS dropoff box.

It is possible that the cases were going to be pressed with a new logo and shipped from the same overseas wholesaler Incipio gets them from, making this slightly less of a dick move, but since every photo in the Indiegogo’s gallery is either cropped or positioned so that the spot where the Incipio logo would be isn’t showing, I’m guessing they were just going to buy shit from Amazon and immediately ship it out again.

I know there are (unfortunately) a bunch of pissed-off gamer bros and men’s rights weirdos really invested in this controversy and that made me hesitant to post about it, but regardless of the circumstances it is my sworn duty as a member of this online web blog to expose the hucksters, scammers, grifters and frauds who swarm around crowdfunding websites like flies to a turd. God bless

She thinks you forgot. You were never great at remembering dates but you’ve been planning this night for awhile. It’s your one year anniversary. You remembered everything. Dinner at her favorite restaurant, the one with the name like ‘Taste’ or ‘Fork’. The kind of place where they dont have prices on the menus, and usually your hands are sweating, busy under the table wringing each other so hard you think they’ll break, or worse, she’ll notice. “Relaaax. Why do you get so worked up over this shit. You’ve been dating her a year. If she laughs at you, she laughs at you. You laugh at each other all the time.” More wringing.

A sizable tip. You leave the restaurant thinking “I should leave a good review on Yelp, or something. That was decent.” But you never do. “People who do that are kind of weird. Leaving reviews on everything. Have I ever gone somewhere because I read about someone else having a great time there? I think I only check those things to read bad reviews. Is that weird? I’m the shittiest breed of vulture. I grew hands instead of wings.”

“Try to resist the urge to check your phone, you idiot. You know she hates that. Especially when you’re driving.”

Door open, keys on the hanger, wallet on the table, shoes off. “I think this is a ritual for me. I think I’ve done the same thing every day since we moved in here. Maybe I should switch which back pocket my wallet goes in. Would that fuck everything up? Would I enter some weird Twilight Zone because of some butterfly effect shit I did?” 

“You want to see something cool?” “I guess.” “Check it out.” You open the box and remove the velvet cloth from inside. “What the fuck is that? It looks like a little shitty flute.” “Yeah, it’s the flute from Zelda. But did you know it can also play Pop, Classical, Rock and Flamenco?” 

You spin toward the entertainment center, a little curbside special, but hey- it’s held up pretty well. You tap play on the cd player mid-spin. Smooth, like the shiny finish of your ocarina, which you bring to your lips as you turn back to face her. “Nice spin. Are you going to play that or-” “Yeah, I’m going to play it.” You inhale and hope you’ve timed this correctly. 

Zelda’s Theme starts coming out of your stereo. It’s good as hell, it’s from a video game. She is fairly fucking impressed that you know it. She moves to the kitchenette, her hips bouncing off of every note. “This shit is so good. I love it. I love video games, also. They’re great.” She pours a glass of Merlot, a gift from her boss as a thank-you for completion of a big project. Working in television is stressful, but it has its perks. “Grab yourself a sugar cookie in the shape of an ocarina-er a flute. Grab one of those flute cookies.” 

She’s back on the couch with a mouthful of wine. You’re just about to start the second track, Zelda 2: Zelda’s Revenge, when there’s a knock at the door.. 

To Be Continued.. 

Another good way to tell if you’re hungry is if you are.

Hungrometer

Does holding your iPad fatigue your hands? Does standing your Kindle on the table pain your neck while you read and poke? Do you wish you could move about while using your device? Look no further…look at eye level!

iWorm works simply: it suspends a tablet PC or eReader in front of you at the best distance and angle for your eyes. Use it while standing or sitting! How many places can you imagine using this? I can name at least over 9,000!

We have cheap, portable consumer electronics that allow us to get more things done and access more information than anyone in the history of our species, and we’re really upset that we have to, like, physically hold it up, or put it in our pocket, or put it in a bag, or god forbid, carry it AND a cup of coffee at the same time, like, why can’t it just be floating in front of us, so we don’t have to lift our arms, you know??? Why does life have to be so hard

P.S. Note the OVER 9000 reference in 2013

Thanks 2 simonzeno 4 the link

This has been submitted like five times now and I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m skeptical when gamers get mad at campaigns that involve women and video games because it typically stems from a “boys club” attitude and quickly attracts scumbags who deal in death and rape threats.

On the other hand, the woman who made this campaign appears to be the CEO of a small financial company who was named one of the “Most Powerful Woman Entrepreneurs” by CNN Money and she could probably pay for her daughter to go to summer camp without crowdfunding. Many people have also pointed out that the Kickstarter terms of service forbids using it to “pay for tuition” but I’m not sure if that holds water because the campaign is centered around building an RPG with paying for camp as a step in that process.

The thing that bugs me about this campaign, though, is that this woman turned her elementary-school daughter’s interest in game design into a public display that’s now been seen by tens of thousands of people, many of them less than supportive. It wasn’t just a thing meant for friends and family that spun out of control, either: she spammed the link on Twitter to various news sites and TV shows.

The thing is, I went to a weeklong game design camp run by the same company when I was 10? 11? and while I had fun and learned how to use some Clickteam program they probably don’t make anymore, the game I made was like 5 minutes long and I’m pretty sure you just walked a character through a few enemy-less screens and then the game was over. I didn’t end up going into game design as a hobby or career.

The camp was a cool experience though and I think this girl would probably enjoy it, but holy shit would my experience have been different if there were over 1,000 strangers who not only wanted a copy of my shitty game after it was finished but paid money for it. Kids at that age are supposed to experiment with different hobbies and they usually end up losing interest in most of them after a little while. I can think of about a dozen examples from my childhood. That’s okay, that’s how it’s supposed to work, but it’s not supposed to be a big public event, it’s not supposed to be on television and there shouldn’t be $20,000 of strangers’ money riding on it. Please do not do this to your kids