Your Kickstarter Sucks

This guy got so mad that he made like 0.1% of the goal for his project (it looks like it’s about Legos or some shit) that he edited the page to include numerous rude remarks and a rant about how people donate too much money to people with sick puppies and not enough to him???

I thought I had a great idea here.  

Really thought I knew who I could count on to help make this happen.

Spent hours, days, weeks pulling this together.   Had multiple donations lined up,  had a few “big names” on board to give me some cred…

…pull the trigger and nothing.    “oh you were SERIOUS?  LOL I’m not spending money on toys,  get a real job.”    “So what you’re going to pirate Legos?” (this after explaining it multiple times and ways!)   “oh that,  yeah I can’t afford to donate,  I have a life you know.”

Folks… seriously.   You can donate enough money to a sick pupy to ensure that it’s owners can buy a new fucking house but you can’t donate a buck here.

Indiegogo is a joke.   Crowdfunding is a fucking joke.   This entire venture was one catastrophic waste of time.   

Spent hours blogging,  no one read the links.   I can prove that with the metrics.   Not a single fucking click,  yet dozens of lies “Oh yeah I read your blog keep up the good work.”  mmmHHm.

Sent out hundreds of tweets,  no one responded..  In fact most people just blocked me.  Including my own fucking friends.

This has been one gigantic mindrape and I am never ever putting myself through this again.

Never again.

Fuck you.

Fuck you all. 

thanks dendy crew

The World’s First Dubstep MMO

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/svengaligames/atrox-noctis-dark-horror-role-playing-you-can-danc?ref=search

Submitted by kthorjensen

This guy’s video is almost ten minutes long and it’s one of the most painful things I’ve ever watched. 

ed: Ten minutes of some guy rambling about something. I skipped around a bunch to see if anything happened and then I had to let my dog out to pee. I came back hoping that something had happened. Nothing happens. The guy just talks about something for ten minutes. He’s sitting in the chair and talking about the project. I think the project has something to do with video games. He’s going to play video games and record it for the internet. I think he said that somewhere. It would have been cool if he just said that, and that was the whole thing. 

Click it if you want. Thanks for the submission, whoever. 

Your Kickstarter Doesn’t Suck: Wine Diaper Edition

Hey, gang. Sometimes we here at YKS will feature some crowd funding projects that we think are really worth your dough. Here’s another such project. Two friends of mine, Jon Hendren and David Thorpe, are raising money to film themselves pouring Dom Perignon into a diaper. They’re going to purchase some Dom P, pour it into an adult diaper, and then they’re going to drink it. What better way to showcase the crowdfunding platform. Get those wallets out and get crackin, guys. Let’s really fund this one.

We’re Going to Pour some Dom P into a Diaper

The Empire State Building And A Leather Jacket: A series of 4 Polaroids of a leather jacket atop the Empire State Building.

Risks and challenges: The Empire State Building is located in midtown Manhattan. I have moved to NYC in the hopes to realize this important photographic project.

“Please give $7500 to Bulk and Skull to cover damages from pies thrown at the wall during the last Power Rangers convention”

found via Cheesegod

Another way to look like an absolute moron with your smartphone?? And you only want 100,000 to market this incredible product??! *eyes roll back in head like slot machine* -TILT-

Gosh, I totally wonder what the gender and ethnicity of two individuals who would create a “shonen manga” with characters like “Big Lips Dorothy The Trailer Park Ho” could be? 

OH.. 

Please give us 1.5M bucks so we can torture two animals of each kind by keeping them in a giant wooden box with no windows.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/982152343/the-hidden-ark

This guy is really passionate about his craft. The craft of course being mini fountain statues of boys pissing into toilets.

Boy P’in in Toilet

Unlicensed stage show based on The Matrix that some guy wants to stage in London (after a successful run at a Turkish beach resort). The “special effects” are basically three huge projection screens showing Windows NT screensavers that dudes ineptly breakdance in front of. Watch the video, it’s priceless.

(description courtesy of kthorjensen)

You can pay this lady $3 to write a sick burn you can tell to someone you don’t like. Great use of the Kickstarter platform. Also it looks like their layout changed slightly. Pretty cool stuff

thanks @Maarak, @Nickrob for the link

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/lindzznth/professional-insultress-for-hire

It is 2013 a.d. and someone got so sick of getting shit on his hand every time he wipes his ass that he invented a glove made of wet wipes. Some guy thought “What the world needs more than anything else is a way to effectively wipe ones ass and also keep the poop on the oven-mitt sized glove hand until you can remove it with your other ungloved hand”

I am trying to picture a black and white recreation of someone attempting to wipe themselves but, I guess, tripping and falling into the tub pulling the shower curtain down and looking at the camera all exasperated like “There’s GOT to be a better way!” 

Shittens

Another idiotic way to carry your precious mobile phone, but the video for this one is so Euro that it transcends.