Your Kickstarter Sucks

gawker is trying to crowdsource $200,000 to purchase a video of toronto mayor rob ford smoking crack so they can release it to the public. against my better judgment i am filing this under "your kickstarter doesn't suck"

Fri, 17 May 2013 21:42:13 -0400

gawker is trying to crowdsource $200,000 to purchase a video of toronto mayor rob ford smoking crack so they can release it to the public. against my better judgment i am filing this under "your kickstarter doesn't suck"

"Mac Bishop’s Kickstarter for a miracle wool shirt that doesn’t need to be washed exploded across the Internet. But what you didn’t hear was that Bishop’s dad’s company is the country’s largest wool shirt manufacturer. And you can buy that miracle shirt today--no Kickstarter required."

Sat, 11 May 2013 11:32:16 -0400

"Mac Bishop’s Kickstarter for a miracle wool shirt that doesn’t need to be washed exploded across the Internet. But what you didn’t hear was that Bishop’s dad’s company is the country’s largest wool shirt manufacturer. And you can buy that miracle shirt today--no Kickstarter required."

Update: It went up to $37,000 in the 4 hours or whatever since...

Wed, 08 May 2013 20:52:00 -0400

Update: It went up to $37,000 in the 4 hours or whatever since this was submitted. Hoo boy

It’s Hedbanz but the cards are all edgy things like...

Mon, 06 May 2013 20:05:14 -0400

It’s Hedbanz but the cards are all edgy things like “Your Mom”. Good shit guys, you’re projected to finish with almost 3% of your goal

thanks clumsycosmonaut

Post-cancellation update on Meme TCG: here’s the guy...

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:40:02 -0400

Post-cancellation update on Meme TCG: here’s the guy trying to save face on reddit

http://www.reddit.com/r/cringe/comments/1d47fp/meme_tcg_kickstarter/

Steampunk rap. What can I even say about this thanks...

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:35:43 -0400

Steampunk rap. What can I even say about this

thanks secularsparkle

He wants 15K to photograph people driving behind him.

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:31:00 -0400

He wants 15K to photograph people driving behind him.

Description of copyrighted material: Hasbro, Inc. and Hasbro...

Sat, 04 May 2013 12:47:41 -0400

Description of copyrighted material: Hasbro, Inc. and Hasbro Studios LLC (“Hasbro”), which own the copyrights and trademarks for the MY LITTLE PONY® (commonly referred to as “MLP”) line of toy ponies, and the FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC® animated television series. Hasbro’s copyrights and trademarks also include the pony character images and names such as RAINBOW DASH®, PINKIE PIE®, TWILIGHT SPARKLE®, RARITY®, FLUTTERSHY®, and APPLEJACK® as well as their corresponding “Cutie Marks,” or the unique symbols located on the ponies’ haunches which identify each pony (for example, the RAINBOW DASH character’s “Cutie Mark” is a rainbow lightning bolt emerging from a cloud).

Description of infringing material: “ZanbatouX” has just closed a Kickstarter project to fund production of an unauthorized set of six collectible coins featuring MY LITTLE PONY pony characters on one side and their corresponding Cutie Marks on the other

Nice job dork

This guy wants $250,000 to make a Facebook game that’s...

Sat, 27 Apr 2013 17:02:57 -0400

This guy wants $250,000 to make a Facebook game that’s just like an existing Facebook game except with anime catgirls in sexy maid outfits.

General Features

Anime art style

Cat girls

Anime art style

Hidden object mini game

Memory match mini game

Unlockable artwork

Upgradeable equipment

Buyable in game items

Anime art style, cat girls and anime art style? Sign me up

Neko Cleaning Service

thanks lila_cherry

Ahh the zombie apocalypse. Haha zombehhs.. They’re coming....

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 15:10:56 -0400

Ahh the zombie apocalypse. Haha zombehhs.. They’re coming. Prepare yourself. Zombies, dude. Gotta love em. The undead. Classic. That’s classic shit. I love it. Good shit. The zombie apocalypse is freaking coming.

If you really want to prepare for something that will absolutely never happen, go buy some condoms you awful goober.

Zombie Emergency Kit

Some clowns want two grand to fart around in their living room

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 01:07:22 -0400

I’m not even going to screenshot it because I spent more than enough time watching their eleven minute video.

I guess its a game show or something. A YouTube gameshow. No clue. Eleven Minutes.

The Leaderboard

A Trading Card Game featuring your favorite internet memes. Get...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:56:36 -0400

A Trading Card Game featuring your favorite internet memes. Get ready to downvote your opponents into oblivion!

The only good thing about this is watching the turbodork who made it get progressively sweatier as the video plays.

Meme TCG

I’m ambivalent about the Zach Braff movie Kickstarter. On one hand it’s another...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:32:19 -0400

I’m ambivalent about the Zach Braff movie Kickstarter. On one hand it’s another millionaire celebrity asking for money even though they could easily fund their project themselves or take advantage of their many industry connections. On the other hand, at least it’s not steampunk

Are you fucking kidding me? A tiny skateboard that can’t...

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 13:24:04 -0400

Are you fucking kidding me? A tiny skateboard that can’t travel on anything but perfectly flat surfaces is “the simplest and easiest way to get from point A to point B?” OH SHIT I HAVE A DISTANCE TO TRAVEL, LET ME EXTRACT MY IPHONE SIZED SKATEBOARD FROM MY POCKET, ASSEMBLE IT AND ZOOM OFF TO COLD STONE CREAMERY *ZOOMS OFF TO COLD STONE CREAMERY* *ENCOUNTERS CURB* *DIES*

much like “the office” but takes place in a...

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 22:33:08 -0400

much like “the office” but takes place in a gym. much like “the office” but takes place in a police station. much like “the office” but takes place in a hot dog cart. much like “the office” but takes place in a dog groomer. much like “the office” but takes place in a hair salon. much like “the office” but takes place in a circle of hell reserved for anybody trying to raise money for a sitcom on kickstarter.

Patent pending on the great invention of drilling a hole in a...

Sat, 20 Apr 2013 18:02:00 -0400

Patent pending on the great invention of drilling a hole in a wall and inserting a magnet.

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/freicoin-global-community-curre...

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 18:02:13 -0400

http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/freicoin-global-community-currency-from-the-occupy-movement

$28,000 to start an even less useful Bitcoin knockoff.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1273668931/hapifork-the-smart-fork-that-tracks-your-eating-ha-0

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 19:14:00 -0400

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1273668931/hapifork-the-smart-fork-that-tracks-your-eating-ha-0:

Is eating too boring? Wanna have some weird bullshit breakable piece of plastic measure how fast you eat for quasi-legitimate health reasons? Wanna shove your head in a toilet? Drinking toilet water has been shown to help lose weight. So has eating dog shit. If you act like a dog you’ll lose weight too. But wait, don’t stop there. Donate to my new “virtual dentures” that keep track of how often you eat dog shit and if you’re eating the right kind of dog shit. It’s like you’re the six million dollar man, except you’re ugly and nobody likes you.

Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Madison and Henry were all...

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 22:13:16 -0400

Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Madison and Henry were all slaveowners and all but Franklin had major slave plantations. Both Adams and Paine were against slavery and refused to own slaves on moral grounds but Adams as a politician tended to shelve the issue to avoid conflict (unlike his son who became one of the most prominent anti-slavery politicians). I’m not sure the Alien and Sedition Acts Adams signed into law as president exemplify liberty either. That leaves Thomas Paine, I guess. Whatever. Your shirts suck ass. Fuck you

sparklewoods: yourkickstartersucks: Gosh, I totally wonder what the gender and ethnicity of two...

Wed, 10 Apr 2013 10:00:32 -0400

sparklewoods:

yourkickstartersucks:

Gosh, I totally wonder what the gender and ethnicity of two individuals who would create a “shonen manga” with characters like “Big Lips Dorothy The Trailer Park Ho” could be?

OH..

fortunately the project is canceled

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1116321106/shaniqua-no-ho-0/posts/434252

thank the lord